Happy Holidays

Jolly!

Amon's second time in the jolly jumper... note the heavy Fred Astaire influence!

Dad's young siblings

I love my younger sibs (and of course, my older ones too). All three are currently in the depths of university exams. One has finished, another is on the verge and the third still has a fairly long and difficult row to hoe. I write this post to say 'Congratulations!', 'Almost there!' and 'You can do it. I believe in you.' I love you all. It was a magical moment for me to see you each hold your nephew for the first time. He is very lucky.

...and the little one said...

Rollllll over!

Guess who we met?

Swim!

Food, glorious food!

Robot Baby

As part of Amon's neo-natal follow-up, this week he underwent a series of hearing tests at Sick Kids' Hospital. They had to turn him into a robot to measure his brain's response to sounds and this is what he looked like.

Slide!

November 5, 2011

Happy Movember

Hulk Hogan... or baby Amon? Up with the moustache!

First Night in the Crib

A couple of weeks ago, we moved Amon into his crib for the first time. Previously, he'd been sleeping beside our bed in his bassinet. It was so comforting to me to wake up in the night and feel him there right beside me. I was of course reluctant to put him in his crib. The picture below was the first night he slept in his bassinet, above, his first night in his crib. It's hard to believe he's so big now! Not to mention that he's like a little motorboat in the crib, motoring around in his sleep. I'm exhausted as he inevitably bonks his head on the rails and wakes himself up a couple of times a night. Is this a phase? I hope so! I don't know! I'm feeling like I did when the first picture was taken... the newborn phase, but without all of the adrenaline to carry me through. Will things shift back again to a full night's sleep, or will we succumb to the dreaded sleep training? The bets are on folks... only time can tell.

Amon's first Hallowe'en

 Hark! A baby owl? Yes! Flapping in from High Park... here he is on Hallowe'en!

 and

Get funky, baby! Amon loves James Brown... this is his homage to our trip to JB's birthplace of Augusta, Georgia in November of 2010 (just a little bean.)

Baby wearing Daddy

Daddy's first time baby-wearing! Amon settled in just right.



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6 months TODAY

WOW!

Bumbo!

Sitting in the Bumbo seat and none too sure of it.

Baby Mama and Gangsta Baby

This picture may be an indicator of things to come... moms wants her kid to look cute and the kid wants to look like a gangsta.

Reading

The first things Michael and I ever bought for Amon were books.  We made a date one Friday after work before he was born and went to Chapters to find some books to read him in utero.  We bought some of the classics, Goodnight Moon, The Hungry Caterpiller, and Pat the Bunny, as well as some others we weren't familiar with. I used to read to my belly every night, especially Goodnight Moon. So when he was born, and Dr. Soler told us to read him something to calm him down, we knew just what to do... except we didn't happen to have a copy of Goodnight Moon... it was our babymoon vacation and we weren't exactly expecting to have our kid! I could remember most of it, but there were some holes. My sister had a Winnie the Pooh book on her iPhone and I read from that between tears as I watched Amon's frail ribcage rising and falling.  We asked my sister to get a copy of the book at the local bookstore called Unicorn Books. She brought back a stuffed unicorn toy (more on that later) and a counting version of the book, but it didn't have the original words. Michael knew his mom would have a copy of Goodnight Moon, so he called home.  His brother Neil somehow found the book and dictated it over the phone so we could read it to Amon. When it became clear that Amon would have to be moved to Miami, and I would be staying in the hospital in Turks and Caicos, I recorded myself reading Goodnight Moon from the crumpled page Michael had written the words on.  I wanted him to be able to hear my voice even though we were separated.
Amon is not yet 6 months old and already has more than an entire shelf filled with books. As you can see, he really loves reading and has lots of sweet people who love reading to him!

Agency

One of the coolest things about being a mom is watching your child discover and assert agency. Up until this happens, they seem, well... a total mystery... unlike most of us, they are just being. We big people are being less and doing more; I think this is why babies seem kind of scary to us when we first have them. We organize ourselves around getting what we want in the world, and we are rewarded for our ability to achieve this. Little babies are the exact opposite: completely dependent with limited ability to communicate their desires and needs. To imagine ourselves in this position is terrifying! Without language, Amon's ability to "do" is my first insight into what he might be thinking, and where we can begin communicating (and playing) beyond the realm of mystery!

Far and wide

Jive Walkin'

Grandchildren on Your Knee

Robert Lawrence Milman
October 13, 1947-April 17, 2007

Alarm

This is me nursing Amon outside of a neighboring apartment building just before 6am on Thursday morning. We were jarred awake by the wailing of fire alarms! I plopped Amon, still in his sleep sack, into our baby carrier, threw on a jacket and trooped down 18 flights of stairs, Michael trailing behind us in his bare feet. Amon was scared and so was I. We weren't sure if it was a real fire, if we would run into it on the next floor, smoke, flames, stop, drop, and roll! As we snaked down the stairwell with our neighbours, everyone was eerily quiet, even the dogs. We could hear the sirens and see the flashing red lights advancing down the block by the time we made it outside. I wanted to get away from the apartment before the firetrucks came because I didn't want Amon to get upset. Miraculously, neither one of us cried. I was contemplating it until I saw one of our neighbors with his very chipper Westie called Alba, wagging her tail and dancing with energy. This was a delicious adventure for her! Outside, on an unexpected walk before the sun was even up! And people everywhere to charm and give affection! Lucky dog!
... oh, yeah! We were lucky too, safe and together on a crisp fall morning.
We retreated to a bench across the street, and nursed en plein aire until we got the all clear. We made it back up to the cozy apartment in time to watch the sun rise over the lake.
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Moving Company

Goodbye Beige

Hello Timberwolf Grey (thxx Vic!)

Natural light

More Natural Phenonmena

Our new skyhigh vantage point is an amazing place to witness natural phenomena.
Here is a little video of the crazy thunder and lightning storm of August 25.  This was so much more exciting than television! We sat in the living room watching the storm unfurl. We saw lightning hit the CN tower multiple times and disintegrate into a billion electric sparkles. Amon breastfed his way through the whole thing and wasn't scared a bit, even when the thunder felt like it was on our heads.

We awoke Saturday morning to an eerie fog enveloping our building.. All we could see was the building closest to us. Very strange and amazing to feel like you are floating amidst the clouds, disconnected from gravity.

Fog, Aug 27

Amon's role in all of this? He is sleeping through the night (I count my blessings DAILY!) which means that he wakes up around 6 am and after feeding, he likes playing and having chats... so we are up with the rosy dawn these days, which is when super-fogs roll in.

5.9! Lesson Wrapped in Adventure

We just felt an earthquake (I love American news media check this link too)!
Mommy covered Amon's head and ran under a doorway before succumbing weak-kneed to thoughts of the futility of this manoeuvre... we now live on the 18th floor!
When my heart stopped pounding, I went to the internet to confirm I wasn't crazy and then read about earthquake safety. This must be Amon Soleil's first... sheesh... he's already had so many adventures! Thankfully he slept through the uncanny swaying of our high rise building...
BTW... doorways are not the best place to go as I read... under Michael's desk would have been better. Having a child changes everything. I've been through a few earthquakes before, but I was never inspired to figure out a real plan... because of Amon, we're getting a plan...

Good Morning Sunshine

Mornings are full of smiles!

Heart Swell

Day and I with Amon in the tiny NICU at Cheshire Hall Medical Centre, Turks and Caicos. 

When I first met my nephew he was 16 hours old. He was just over 2 pounds surrounded by machines with lines running every which way. His arms and legs were squirming and he was feisty as hell. My heart simultaneously swelled and burst for him.

Cut to 2592 hours later...

We have finally arrived in Toronto for a visit. Day peeks her head out of her new apartment door -sneaky smile on her face. "Hello Auntie Dawn and Uncle Matt". In her arms she is holding an almost 9 pound version of the baby I met so many many hours ago and once again my heart swells and I am weeping. Is it possible that he is the same little man? A real baby now.

When I finally get the nerve up to hold him I know I am his for life.

"You've pushed everyone else out babes. There is only room for you in my heart." I whisper to him conspiratorially. But the truth is Amon Soleil has taught my heart how to grow and make room for whatever is needed and so I love bigger and better now that he is in the world and I am grateful for the blessing.

We Moved!

And it's been total chaos for about a month... we are getting settled, slowly, in our deluxe apartment in sky, overlooking High Park and Lake Ontario.
We have a lot to catch up on! Including 9 lbs of baby love, tons of visitors, thumbsucking, adventures in acquiring a birth certificates and new digs.
Stay tuned!

Music!

Heavyweight!

Amon visited the clinic on Queen again today. The little man made some great gains. He is now 50 cm long and weighs 6 pounds and 9 ounces! While he still charts well below the normal range of other little folk his age, the rate of change is fantastic. He also had the circumference of his head measured and when charted he was within the low range of normal. This is a fantastic piece of news as according to his doctor, it suggests that his brain is developing well. Mum and dad are very happy.

Due Date

July 4

Today is the day Amon was supposed to be born.
This is also his Grampa Brian's birthday.
It's a day to reflect on how the unexpected reigns.
It's the last day I can look at pregnant women and think in astonishment, "That could still be me!"

Today Amon is new born, officially, after 10 weeks on this earth. He is a fighter, he's brave, he's funny, and he's beautiful.

Due Date Portrait

GOOD MUSIC FOR GOOD BABY

This baby is already being swaddled in great music from mom and dad. Lucky baby indeed. Lucky world!

Here is a song Michael would sing to Amon when he does the top up feeds.

Chubby Bum Chubby Bum

I feel for you!! (Listen). Scroll through these photos while listening to song and you will get the good feelings!

I feel love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8TBmeK9Abg

Visiting Amon (and the folks who made him)

Dad's Notes at 6 AM

Bottle 60ml. He falls asleep and I decide to change him. Too much stimulation. He lays awake in bed until 6:20. I pick him up and put him on my chest.

- Dad's note in feeding log, Tuesday June 28, 2011

The Sleepig or Barnyard in a Bassinet

Our Amon Soleil has been home for 2 weeks and it is so wonderful to learn all about him and see his face any time of the day. I don't have to make an epic journey (including the requisite trip to the underworld with all of its cretins (ie the subway) with my precious cargo of frozen breastmilk in hand) to get to him. All I have to do now is turn my head and he's there, less than an arm's reach away in his bassinet.

My first Father's Day

It was golden! Every moment.

Father & Son

Happy Father's Day, Sweet Michael

I'm so in love with both of them!

The View from Here

We've been home together for just over a week, and I am so so happy to be home with Amon, and with Michael. Life is very simple, the weather has been beautiful, Amon is growing, we are getting to know him and he is so precious. It is such a privilege to be a mother, and share this experience with Michael who is such a loving father and sweet, supportive partner.

Here is a peek at the view from here.

It's better here...

It really is. We love having him home.

Amon has been home for three days now. The most eventful change in our lives, in my opinion, has been our new colossal disregard for our circadian rhythms. The sun now rises and sets to Amon. His revolutions are not so gentle as mother earth's. Amon spins at a variable rate lasting 2 to 3 hours. In response to this hyper-condensed day-night-cycle, we are in the midst of serious time-management engineering. Our first innovation, the 'maternal-maintenance paternal nutrition episode'.

The Eagle has landed.

Thank you Fran for getting the family home safely. It really, really means a lot to us. To everyone who has helped to make this day happen, I don't even know how to begin to say thank you. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Ready to go!

I can't believe it! Just waiting for MC to come and pick us up from the NICU. Wish us luck!

Beautiful

No tubes, no wires. We are going home.

Heading home!

Can it be true? Can we be heading home already?! It appears that the answer is yes. Amon is due to be discharged from hospital on Thursday, June 9, 2011.